30 min Oral Sex Pleasure Challenge -

30 Minute Pleasure Challenge

Take turns giving/receiving oral (and manual) pleasure from your partner for 30 min (timed) without the goal or orgasm. This exercise allows both of you to relax into the experience of oral (or manual) sex without the pressures of orgasm.

It is designed to create an atmosphere that:

takes the pressure off both parties.
allows the giver to enjoy the experience without pressure to make the partner orgasm.
allows the receiver to enjoy the experience without pressure to have an orgasm.
allows both parties to relax into the experience.
allows both parties to focus on one thing and not be distracted by doing too much at once.
makes the experience more real, genuine and fun.
allows both parties to get out of an old rut and add some novelty to the experience.

Getting started:

Choose one person to be the giver and the other the receiver. Then switch for next time.
Set up the environment where sensuality can thrive. Make sure you are in a pleasant space where you will not be interrupted. Set the temperature, atmosphere, and ambiance (lighting, music, candles, etc) in a way that feels sensual and erotic to both people.
Be in a good head-space. Make sure you are both feeling relaxed and in a good mood to start. That may include bathing or prepping yourself to feel comfortable.
Set an alarm. Both of you can relax and enjoy the experience if you are not constantly distracted by looking at a clock. Hit the timer on your phone for 30 min and enjoy the experience.
Explore without the goal of orgasm. The goal is to enjoy 30 min of sexual play without any sort of goal to orgasm. Agree before that you will not be “trying” to orgasm. If orgasm does occur, don’t beat yourself up, just keep going with lighter sensation. If it becomes too sensitive for the orgasmee then change the stimulation to gently cup the genitals in your hand (or mouth), to stay connected without much stimulation. You can do anything you want on minute 31, but for the first 30 the goal is not orgasm.

Oral Sex Challenge Tips

— For the Giver:

Don’t rush into it. Pace yourself. You are going to be there for awhile, so get comfy and build up arousal gradually.
Have your favorite props handy. Make sure you are prepared with whatever you need to feel good about the experience. Have some aids hand to help you along (eg. Favorite lube, coconut oil, ice cubes, hand warmers, etc).
Focus on the sensual pleasure of giving. Since this exercise isn’t just for the receiver, the giver can enjoy the sensations too. Do what works for you too! The more pleasure you are feeling by giving the more the receiver feels they can relax an enjoy themselves.

— For the Receiver:

Give and get feedback. Take a moment before you set the alarm to ask the receiver that they would like (more or less pressure, type of stimulation, etc).
Decide on a way to communicate during the act. The receiver should have a way to communicate (hand gesture, moan or word) to give the giver direction in the moment.
After the 30 min is over, take a moment to debrief as to what you liked the most.

Be in the Moment: Take a lesson from mindfulness and appreciate some of the things that you might normally skip over:
1. Appreciate the texture of your partner’s skin against your fingers. How does that change against your tongue.
2. Notice how the different parts change with arousal.
3. How does natural lube (from vagina or precum from the penis) change things for you, or your partner?
4. Notice how your partner responds to different types of touch? Do they flinch away from you? Do they grind into you?
5. Notice how different types of touch feel for you?

Hear what others think who have taken the oral-sex challenge

Read more about the benefits of no-goal sex