What are the most common porn myths?
Porn and Erotica can be an excellent way to get in the mood, identify and talk about what you like (and don’t like) to light up our erotic brain and inspire new sexual ideas.
But the type of porn we watch matters.
Most freely available heterosexual porn represents a male fantasy of sex that emphasizes certain myths about female and male bodies that are impossible to achieve or are just plain wrong.
Popular porn myths ruining people’s sex lives:
- Myth 1: Men must have large penis’ to satisfy their partners
(while some women like a big penis, many other women find big to be uncomfortable, the reality is that penis size is a personal preference, which is misleading anyway since most women get more pleasure from their clitoris) - Myth 2: The penis is always rock hard in sex
(the reality is that erections wax and wane in every sexual encounter) - Myth 3: Women orgasm easily through intercourse
(the reality is that most women do not regularly orgasm from intercourse without clitoral stimulation) - Myth 4: The clitoris is not that important for female pleasure
(the reality is that 95% of all women choose to give themselves pleasure (masturbate) on their clitoris, not their vagina) - Myth 5: Women get pleasure from come in the face
(while some women have eroticized ejaculate in the face, the vast majority of women do not find this sexy) - Myth 6: Female ejaculation is common and gives women intense pleasure
(while female ejaculation is not uncommon, the reality is that for women ejaculation is not necessarily paired with orgasm or pleasure. ‘Relief’ is more commonly described). - Myth 7: Anal sex takes no preparation and is always clean and easy
(the reality is that anal sex needs practical preparation such as voiding the bowels before, extra lubricant, and time and patience to allow the muscles to relax without pain) - Myth 8: Choking is pleasurable for all men and women.
(while choking in sex can be a big turn-on for a small number of people, the reality is not necessarily for most people, and requires enthusiastic consent and safety discussions)
Consequences of Buying into Porn Myths
And even though we generally know intellectually this type of porn is “just fantasy,” if we watch it frequently and it seems somewhat realistic we can still start to expect these impossibilities in real life sex. Many more young people are learning about sex through porn, which is increasing (not decreasing) the strength of these myths.
Many of us feel embarrassment, shame and guilt when we can’t live up to the impossible expectations of what we think we “should” do in sex. And that sexual expectation is associated with lower sexual satisfaction, lower sexual desire and greater sexual worries and distractions.
Tell us your experience of sexual myths in your life. We want to find out why certain myths are more bothersome for some, but not others. Contribute to positive sexuality research here.
Does that mean we should stop watching porn? Not at all, just know what you are watching. And maybe seek some out that are more realistic.
Find Erotica & Porn suggestions that shows ‘real’ sex
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