You may already have it in you!
Increasing your sexual desire by paying attention to your own motivational cues.
Do you want to “feel” your sexual desire more?
Sexual desire is often not absent, instead it could be “missed.” The body reacts automatically to sexual cues, and we can respond to them in many ways. Some times we shut down our own desire before we even are aware of what is going on. You can feel many types of cues to sexual desire.
Want to increase your sensitivity to the Motivational cues of desire?
Here are some tips to increase your sensitivity to the yearning or motivational cues of sexual desire.
- Get comfortable wherever you are. Close your eyes (or if you are not in a place you can comfortably close your eyes, turn your focus inward).
- Become aware of your breathing. Take a few breaths to notice the rise and fall of your breath.
- Think of a sexy thought, read or watch a sexy scene or think of a sexual fantasy.
- Focus on where your mind wanders to and what your yearnings are as you start feeling sexy:Do you feel an urge to be touched? or touch? Which one is prominent?
Does your brain want to go to a sexual fantasy or remember a sexual image?
Do you yearn to kiss someone?
Does your body yearn to have weight pressing on it?
Are you drawn to do a particular act?
Do you yearn to grab or be grabbed or pushed?
What are the other yearnings do you have? - You may find yourself getting distracted, as other thoughts or sounds grab your attention. That is normal. Just notice the thoughts and sounds, and then let them pass.
- Before you take your attention away from your sensations, take time to see what else you notice. Remember, this is a special sensation, a sensation that lives within you, a sensation you can remember and revisit any time you choose. And every time you feel this sensation, you are reminded of your strength and of what makes you special.
Here are some ways others have experienced yearning cues to desire:
- Yearning to be touched
- Being drawn to a sexual thought or act
- Being drawn to kiss someone
- Yearning to hold, to be held
- Being drawn to act on a sexual thought or act
- Being drawn to touch someone
- Being drawn to kiss someone
- Being drawn to put body next to someone
- Yearning to be touched
- Yearning to do a particular sexual act
- Yearning to merge
- Yearning to let go
- Yearning to please partner
- Yearning to masturbate
- Yearning to be loved
- Yearning to talk
- Yearning to be desired
Read more about the Feeling cues or Body cues
Find out more about which cues you use most (and least) with the Cues to Desire Test
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