Having sex with a pick-up artist.  One Woman’s Experience

 

Janet, a 34 year old woman, was ready to have great sex, the kind talked about in erotic novels like 50 Shades of Grey. She wanted to explore her sexuality, especially after the anemic sex experienced in her last 10 year relationship.

Jeremy seemed perfect for the role.  She met him at her local coffee shop.  He wasn’t particularly good looking — a little short and skinny for her taste — and he wasn’t terribly successful, but he was so confident and suave that he captured her interest immediately.  She sensed he might be a little bit of a player, but she felt an odd comfort around all the same.

After the first playful date, Janet came home fantasizing what it would be like to be with him sexually, while she masturbated to an easy orgasm.

In anticipation of sex, she bought a new dress (the type he had mentioned he thought looked sexy); she had her hair done (straightening the curl he had teasingly disapproved of); and she even had her first Brazilian wax.

The night finally came. Janet was a little put off when he arrived late, but let it go, playfully teasing him about his tardiness.  His large smile abruptly turned into a distant stare and then he switched his focus to an incoming text.   He overlooked her dress altogether, and commented that he could never ‘seriously date someone who was uptight about lateness.’  Janet was caught off balance at his reaction and secretly planned to ‘make it up to him later.’  Over dinner his mood returned to normal, and he even told her how ‘hot’ she looked.  She swooned, and shortly after suggested they go back to her place.

As they approached her apartment Jeremy seemed so confident and ‘in control’. So much so that Janet couldn’t resist throwing her body against him when they walked through her apartment door.  He responded, kissing her deeply.

They tore off each other’s clothes and pushed their way into the bedroom.  But within a few minutes something started to feel ‘off’.  She was sensing Jeremy’s energy receding.  Strangely, he got up and started to light candles around the room.  She thought the timing was odd, but lighting candles was also a little romantic.  As she waited, Janet dealt with her uneasiness by arranging herself seductively on the bed. Maybe if she looked sexy enough he would become passionate once more.

But he didn’t seem to notice her.  It took a few (long) seconds before he crawled back onto the bed.  Then everything happened very quickly.  Janet recalled a few perfunctory breast strokes and one awkward rub of her mons and then a reach for the condom.  He lay on top of her, pushing inside her.  It felt great!  And then it was over.

She had been aroused all evening, which allowed this short bit of stimulation to almost bring her to orgasm.  It didn’t quite make it, but she didn’t seem to mind.  She was hooked on him.  In retrospect she wished she hadn’t fawned over him, telling him how wonderful the sex had been for her.

Despite the short sexual episodes Janet remained smitten by Jeremy for a few more dates.  The sex never did get any better.  At first Janet thought it was her fault.  Maybe she wasn’t sexy enough, or good enough in bed.  But, as time went on and Janet continued to feel unfulfilled, she realized it was him who was not the good lover.  She tried to make it better by talking to him, but he appeared to listen and then changed the subject.

Now, with the love-haze no longer blocking her perspective, she admits that the sex really had been unsatisfying and amateurish from the beginning.  She realized this quick, disconnected sex was not her fault.

He had been so skilled at getting her juices flowing, her arousal was flying high.  But when it came to actual sex his skill waned.  Janet realized that Jeremy’s behavior could be explained if put into the context of anxiety.  If he was uncomfortable with sex and overcome anxiety, without skill or confidence, the more he fumbled.

Janet’s search for a lover had started out with such promise.  By the end, however, it had been a far cry from the exploration she had hoped for from 50 Shades of Grey.   Jeremy was a player who couldn’t play well in the bedroom.  She vowed never to pick-up a pick-up artist again.

Read more about pick-up artists and sex:

Do Pick-up Artists Teach Men to Be Good Lovers
Which techniques work and why

 

Are pick-up artists good lovers?
Why or why not.