As the value of my house drops and my trust in the economic powers-that-be dip into a recession, I worry. Like the rest of the world, faces pressed firmly against Google News pages watching the DOW plummet, I carry around a layer of ever-present stress lodged firmly on my shoulders.

 

My partner (male) has the same worries. We talk about our plans to guard against belt-tightening doom, we cuddle and we commiserate.  Yet, at the end of the day, he can put the worries aside, and come out sprite-ish, standing firm and ready to delve into whatever erotic pleasure comes to mind.

 

Unfortunately, my experience of sex and stress is not the same. I cannot seem to wrap my head around why anyone would want to have sex when there is so much occupying the worry-center of their brains.

 

As it turns out, we are not all that different from the rest of the male/female contingent. Even though most women don’t care to have a nice good romp when they can’t pay the credit card bill, men can better compartmentalize and lose themselves in sex.

 

Men have it right here. Research shows that one of the best way to reduce stress is to … have sex! Sex, especially partnered sex, reduces blood pressure and kicks in a crucial hormone, called oxytocin, that reduces the stress-reaction in the body. Having sex with a partner, or an orgasm by yourself, is probably the best way to get out of a tense head and relax a worried body.

 

How does it work? Oxytocin is released into the body: a) when you touch someone you love, and b) at the moment of orgasm. This delicious hormone floods the body with a calm relaxed feeling, reduces blood-pressure, and relieves other stress-reactions in the body and induces a normal sleep pattern.

 Sex and Stress Remedy:

The Sexologist in me knows this intellectually, but my female body only seems to ignore those memos. I decided to focus on ways to bypass my natural stress barriers to benefit from this effective stress remedy.

 

No partner?

  1. Use a vibrator.  The physical sensation may get your body to override your head just long enough for your hind-brain to kick in and feel arousal. Use your favorite vibe and focus on the clitoris. Skip that challenging dildo you’ve been meaning to try to expand your horizons — it will only stretch your worries.
  2. Watch your favorite sexually-explicit film. Force yourself to find the time to check out that favorite adult DVD or website. Choose something a little less explicit to start. Jumping in to Only Anal, All the Time may turn you off more than before you started. There is nothing like the “right” sexy movie to distract that worrying part of the brain.

With a partner?

  1. Communicate. Let him/her know what happens to you during stress and that you may need more foreplay to break the stress barrier.
  2. Delve into the sensual. This is the time to treat yourself. Get back into your body with yoga, a scented bath, or whatever it takes to get out of your head and into your body again.
  3. Start Slow.  What’s wrong with a kiss, boy? Put some time aside to slow down and explore other areas of sensuality you normally skip. Think of it as “waking up” your body.
  4. That said, when he does get further south, tell him to focus on your clitoris. Add a hands-free clitoral stimulating vibrator to use during intercourse.

 

Hmm, I have to admit, now that I’ve finished all of my (painstaking) research, I’m feeling quite a bit less stressed. And maybe even a little more open to another encounter. We may be on to something.