Know what turns you on – Use it!


What is a sexual trigger?


A sexual trigger is a thought, sight, smell or anything that gets your erotic juices flowing.  It is often automatic.  We don’t have to process the thought, it just works to get us hot.


Our sexual triggers can surprise us, getting us horny over politically incorrect thoughts like sexual force (a common fantasy for everyone), or they can be predictable and “vanilla”.


What we do know is that our sexual triggers are unique to us.  No one else has the combination of turn-ons that we do.  We have our own unique Erotic Map.


The theory is that we develop our sexual triggers all through our lives, starting in childhood.  An early experience (sight, sound) becomes paired with an erotic feeling.  Early adolescence is the time when much or our erotic map is imprinted.  As we move into adulthood many of the sexual triggers we formed in adolescence can stick with us, while others morph to include what we learn and experience.


Most people get to know their sexual triggers through masturbation. Certain thoughts, images or stimulus, works to arouse us.  It is these thoughts/images that we can keep returning to that help us reach orgasm or get aroused.


Fantasy can be a particularly powerful tool when identifying and developing our sexual triggers.  We just need to pay attention.  Our body will automatically response to a thought, or stimulation.  We just need to note, when we get hot? Wet? Hard?


I have been a clinical sexologist focusing on women’s issues for 15 years.  While men seem to have little hesitation when asked what turns them on (some times going into exceptional detail), many women are not always as aware of their sexual triggers.


What can finding your sexual trigger do for you?

Benefits of sexual triggers.

  1. Develop the sex life you’ve always wanted.
    Get the sex that works for you by knowing what turns you on.
  2. Increase sexual arousal.
    Sexual thoughts can be very engaging.  Once you know what your sexual triggers are, you can use them to start your sexual arousal and keep your focus when you encounter a distraction.
  3. Help orgasm come when you want it.
    Once aroused, a sexual trigger can be used to bring you over the edge.  Holding that special dirty-little-thought (you know the one, often it is the most racy) in reserve can help you reach orgasm when you are struggling to get there.
  4. Increase intimacy with a partner.
    If both lovers knows what their sexual triggers are they can help their partner reach their sexual bliss.
  5. Take the pressure off your partner to please you.
    Knowing what you like, takes the onus of your pleasure away from your partner.  He/she doesn’t have to guess how to get/keep you erotically charged.
  6. Show sexual confidence.
    Knowing your sexual triggers gives you confidence in the bedroom.  You can include your lover into your erotic map, or keep it to yourself. Either way you have the power of insight into your own sexuality.


I have outlined a few ways to discover and develop your sexual triggers with fantasy.